(Reprise)

Oh, hello there, weight loss blog. Long time, no see. How have you been? Lonely? Yes, I apologize for that.

For someone who's been on a plateau with his weight for the last year and a half or more, when I say these past few weeks have been a rough patch, hopefully you can appreciate the gravity of the statement. My lovely wife is the Assistant Director for a local production of Sweeney Todd, and so has been absent from the house nearly every weekday evening and a large chunk of weekends. As anyone who has been on the road towards changing your lifestyle somehow, such a disruption to the status quo can be highly detrimental to progress.

But what if the status is not quo? More to the point, what if a disruption might be just what you need? I'm hoping it's that for me.

You see, during that time, I believe that I was coasting-- relying on doing things the generally same way as I had been, and for some reason expecting different results. (Isn't that, according to the old adage, a definition for insanity?) Weight went a little down, it went a little up, I was conscious of choices, I wasn't conscious, and I wondered why things weren't going right. I was doing, but I wasn't trying. There were moments when I would look down at the food wrapper or whatever and think, "wait, why did I just do that?"

I wasn't in control.

I was also, during these past few weeks, bereft of the guidance of my weekly WW meetings and the wisdom of the one leader whose meetings are worthwhile (for me, in my opinion, your mileage may vary). Without that regular check-in and the times when someone might say something that triggers a lightbulb for me, I know I've been off my (admittedly already weak) game. My last weigh-in? May 21st.

So if I recall right, that means when I walk in the next time, I'll basically be re-registering as a new member. Week one materials, the whole nine yards-- and you know what? GOOD.

I need to take control. I need to be the one in charge of my relationship with food. And I need to remember how and when to ask for help and to use every tool at my disposal-- other people included-- to make sure that it's my hands on the helm, and no one else's.

Back to the beginning, then.

Wish I had more to say

It's always interesting how the reaction to a weight gain at weigh-in can change, all depending on your mood and your mindset. Personally, I usually don't have much of a problem adopting the positive, constructive "okay, so what do I do this coming week differently?" attitude, at least while I'm standing there in the little closet my local WW center uses for weigh-ins.

Out in the world, on the other hand? I doubt there's a single person dealing with weight loss, even the most successful of Lifetime Members, who haven't looked at that + number in their book and thought, "well, so much for that for today" or "for this week" or whatever. Truth be told, maintaining that objective, goal-focused mindset over an entire week and then some is and has been a challenge.

I was prepared for a gain this week, since, I'll confess, I've not been strict with myself as far as tracking goes. For me, like I'm sure it is for many people on this road, the determination and enthusiasm only lasts for so long before the complacency settles in (and I do mean "settles"). Finding that consistent, constant motivation is a quest still in the undertaking.

Busted!

This is definitely more in "amusing anecdote" territory than "shared observation", but what's a blog for if not for posts that are not always 100% brilliant and helpful, right?

Last night's WW meeting centered around one of those handy Tools For Living, this one a particular challenge of mine: Positive Self-Talking. See, as a logical, pragmatic and borderline pessimistic person by nature, it's tough for me to be the kind of cheerleader for myself I need to be. So the idea of learning how to pep talk myself and change my phrasing both out loud and mentally is important.

Back to the anecdote, though. After the meeting, my wife and I had some dinner, then hit up the grocery store for some needed supplies. We were both in a dessert-craving mood and had some Points to spare, so we decided on some yummy-looking carrot cake slices. Not exactly Skinny Cow, of course, but not caramel cheesecake, either.

While in the checkout line, we hear a voice from behind: "I won't peek in your cart if you don't peek in mine."

It was our WW Meeting Leader. Jinkies!

Immediately, we panicked. "Oh, we both have some Points left..." "Well, we were treating ourselves a little..." "But it's a better choice than the ice cream at home..."

To her credit, our Leader just stood and nodded pleasantly instead of laughing in our caught-red-handed faces. She understood, of course: sometimes, it's what you want. And if that's what you want, you'd better find a way to give it to yourself, or you'll be angry and disappointed with yourself. If you want it, have it, plan for or around it and live with it to make healthy choices another day.

Our roommate had a good laugh, though, and pointed out: "Why didn't you just say you were splitting one, and the other was for me?"

Like I said, we panicked.

No Thank You

Whoops, haven't updated in a bit!

Last week, I spent the entire week on vacation. Actually, when you're trying to be careful and aware of your healthy eating habits, that should be ON VACATION. It's a treacherous and danger-filled situation, and one that I've historically not had the best of luck in coming out victorious in the past. For me, being On Vacation means a complete break from routine; it's good for my mind, but not for my eating habits. It means eating out almost exclusively, and it's my personality as a wannabe foodie (you have no idea how much Food Network I watch) to plunge in head first when the food is good and high-quality.

I still did that, to an extent, but I think I made some better choices than before. Maybe not necessarily the best choices available, but better. More importantly, I was in constant use of three important words:

"No, thank you."

You see, when I was a kid, I was the family Mikey. The one who ate the leftovers or what other people weren't having. Mikeys get a lot more food than they mean to, and when your family has one, the rest of the family gets into the habit of having one. So when I go out to dinner with my family, those old habits come up-- food comes in front of me, is offered to me, is brought home and my old habits respond in kind.

But this time, I put up a fight.

"No, thank you."

As much as I wanted that extra helping of fried calamari, or would have been happy to split that dessert, I stood my ground, at least for the most part. Maybe I wasn't exactly the Immovable Object, but did better than before, and when it comes to long-term changes, any progress is triumph.

I don't begrudge my family their old habits. I was polite and cheerful in my refusals, and I made it about how I was full, or I was choosing to stop eating. I'm sure that eventually, their habits will change to match mine. We all just need time and practice.

Weigh-in is tonight, and I know I've gained some, but I know it's not as much as it could have been, and I accept that.

Mmmm, carbs

Bless you, Western Bagel.

Your mysterious formulae make it possible for carb-lovers such as myself to partake of starchy goodness without fear of Point overload.

This post inspired by the Indian feast I was able to prepare last night, with extra-lean turkey breast, tikka masala sauce, brown rice and Alternative Pitas standing in for naan. Yummy.

Look for those options, people.

Minefields

Just finished tracking my Points from yesterday. Since my wife had to be out in the evening, the roommate and I decided to go for the Guy Thing and order in some wings. I will say I exercised more restraint than I used to when I ordered delivery wings back in college, but the final tally was pretty serious. Three days into my week, and I've got less than half my Points allowance left.

It's definitely one of my challenge times: opportunities to have food that I don't often have, like the Filipino breakfast from Saturday. There's a strong tendency to go overboard on it, which I suppose is human, but not the best way to go, obviously.

I guess the moral of the story is 1) try to keep the "every now and then" indulgences to just one instance a week or so and 2) to never leave the boys at home alone. :)

Hence the title

It's interesting that I'm starting a food and weight-loss related blog right now. The one thing I was looking forward to this weekend was making a "traditional Filipino breakfast", an urge brought on by my roommate's purchasing of real eggs rather than egg substitute. Also, starting a week from today, my wife and son and I will be visiting by parents on the East Coast, and you all know what vacations mean.

My wife says this blog will be a good way to keep me honest while we're away. I hope she's right.

Especially because I did indeed make that breakfast, and I'm already one Point over for the day. Ha.

Anyway, the reason I mention that is because of a philosophy I've come to embrace (perhaps a little too fondly) from Weight Watchers: the program isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle. When you mess up on a diet, it's a failure. When you don't maintain your lifestyle for one instance, it's okay-- you've got the whole rest of your life to maintain. Basically, days like this when I have one meal-- a meal I haven't had in ages, and that makes me feel good simply by association-- that nukes my day's worth of Points? Is just a part of life, every now and then.

A beginning is a delicate thing

That was Dune. Maybe some Babylon 5, too: "And so it begins..."?

Neither one's really that accurate, I guess, since I've been on this particular leg of my journey since 2005, but it is the first post in a blog, and you kind of have to do that sort of thing. I'm Eric, and in October, 2005, which was two months after the birth of my son, I weighed 249 pounds, a new high(low?) for me. With a good friend extolling the benefits of Weight Watchers to me and my lovely wife, we joined up.

I was unlike most of my meeting-mates. I had not previously attempted dozens of diets (just shakes and "metabolism" pills) and... I'm a guy. But between great results those first few weeks and liking my Leader, I stuck to the program. As happens, things went really well for a while. My wife hit Goal and earned Lifetime Membership within about a year and a half, having about 60 some-odd pounds to remove. My goal was a lot further off, since I'd be basically trying to shed a whole extra me that I'd started carrying around since fourth grade.

The first 50 pounds dropped in about a year. Since then, I've been stuck at a plateau. In September 2007, I recorded my best showing and since then have been hovering right around 200.

So, I'm hoping to do what I can to shake things up and rejuvenate my motivation. In this blog, I'll keep track of how I'm doing and what I'm doing about it, my thoughts on food and weight loss as well as health and exercise... and other things that might sneak into my posts. I want this to work.

Now for the traditional stats.

Height: 5'7"
Starting weight: 249.0 pounds (October 7, 2005)
Low weight: 188.4 pounds (September 28, 2007)
Current weight: 202.6 pounds (April 10, 2009)
Goal weight: 145.0 pounds (yup, trust me-- that's right in the middle of pretty much every range I could find)

And the traditional pictures. Oooh, this won't be fun.

"Before"

"During"

So there's the introduction. Wish me luck, world.